Galway Advertiser 2007/2007_10_25/GA_2510_E1_121.pdf 

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October 25 2007 Engagement Feature


When do I ask?
BY MAGDALENA SZULC You must have seen numerous movie scenes or heard stories from your friends about proposing, but when it comes to your own moment, not only should you make it special, but also right. When is the right moment though? There is no simple answer to that. The right moment is different for every couple and there is no one, precise, time limit when it comes to deciding to marry someone. You should pick the right moment yourself and just trust your senses. Although there are instances of people getting married after only weeks, or even days of knowing each other (some of them even survived as a couple!), however those are scarce and should not serve as exemplary proposal dates. You should consider a few things that are important to you, as a part of the relationship, as well as things that matter to both of you as a couple, when deciding when to pop the question. One of the feelings you might want to experience is feeling secure when being around your wife-to-be. She should make you feel comfortable, make you want to be `yourself' and not have to put on any acts to be accepted. If there are things you don't like about each other, that's what the time you spend waiting is for, to work on things you're willing to change in order to please each other or learn to accept things that cannot be changed easily. Your future bride should help you accomplish your plans and fulfil your dreams, at the same time not having to give up her own, and you should be ready to do the same in return. Helping each other and offering support not only makes the other person happy, but helps you feel needed in the relationship. Although most people want to keep the proposal a surprise, it is highly advisable to actually discuss the idea of getting married beforehand and find out what views both of you hold on the idea. Things like having kids, buying a house, sharing duties, and bringing in money should also be brought up as they will always be a part of your lives, whether you want it or not. Having said all that, it is not to say you should wait forever as you will never have all the answers to your questions or doubts. There is always a bit of risk involved, but as the old saying goes, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Remember not to give in to the feelings you have in the initial stages of the relationship. You have to know that things you find amusing or charming about someone at the start, might with time become annoying and drive you insane. When you're in love, everything seems fixable and easy, but only when you grow to love someone, you can see things clearly. There is a big difference between just having your heart beat fast at the sight of your lady, and spending a long time with her, still wanting her to be the one. Only then should you consider yourself ready.

Picking the right place
BY MAGDALENA SZULC Do you have everything planned out and ready to perform, but you're still wondering where to actually surprise your loved one? Well, you're right to be spending so much time thinking about the right place as it does matter. Having spent time with your girlfriend, you most likely have a fairly good idea about where she would like to be asked to marry you. You might not know the exact place, but you know if she hopes for crowds witnessing the event or if she would rather limit it to the two of you. This might seem trivial to you, but it's essential to know details like that as they come extremely handy when deciding on the venue. Think of the place you first laid eyes on her. It's easy in case of a local restaurant, might be a bit more difficult when it's in a different city or a foreign country, but if you can afford it and sense your bride-to-be would appreciate it, it is worth the effort. If the place you first met is a place you go to from time to time, it's all right to celebrate yet another time in that special place. If the place you spoke to each other that first time is one you haven't visited since then, even better, you will surprise her not only by proposing, but also by remembering such an important fact as the place where you fell in love. If you're not sure about other people sharing that special moment with you, but you're pretty sure she's going to say `yes', there is one thing you can do that still won't get in the way of a quiet proposal. Why not have a couple of close friends ready to meet you afterwards? More than surely, you will want to call your friends and family to spread the great news anyway, you might as well have a quiet surprise party waiting for your bride. However, if you have no idea how she's going to react, leave the get-together for when you know for sure if you have a wedding to plan or another bride to find.

Propose in print to get the answer you want!
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