Galway Advertiser 1989/1989_09_21/GA_21091989_E1_008.pdf 

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Mary 0' Connor's guide will help you survive when your angelic baby turns into a little horror.

T a m i n g Y o u r
If you are a parent, god parent, aunt or uncle or live next door to a toddler, then you'll realise w h y they've been nicknamed "tiny terrors." Toddlers are like the lit tle girl with the curl, when they are good, they are very very good and when they are bad they are horrid. On a good day, those lit tle people can entertain von with endless chatter, have you splitting your sides when they dress up in your best attire and can sometimes display uncan ny empathy ....with another child or with yon. They may surprise you by giving yon a special cuddle when yon are feel ing miserable, or warm your heart by offering a toy to a crying child. Bat on the darker side, are the temper tantrums, bedtime arguements, mealtime miseries, and difficulties of dealing with this small bat very in dependent person.

T o d d l e r

Did you wake up recently and realise that you were coming to blaming other people and a watershed in your life? That your next birthday cake would t n S h a t "rfwron " th have 40 candles? The good news is that turning forty can be whole r life Y o u T i n do
1 th y 0 U

lot O f fun.

Facing F o r t y With A Smile
It is a widespread assump tion that life gets harder after 40. The pessimists warn your hair will turn grey, your joints creak, skin dry up and you'll no longer have the panache and wild abandon of the pre-35 set. Work gets dramatically easier after 40. While you may be in a more respon sible position than you were twenty years ago, you should now have the self esteem and ex perience to handle it well. Most of the major rewards of success tend to ac cumulate after you're 40." So if you are anyway wise, you'll know everything there is to know about your job. By 40, the late Grace Kelly had become the darl ing of Hollywood, Leonard Bernstein had penned West Side Story, supermarker supremo, Feargal Quinn was well on the way to making millions, and designer Coco Chanel had left her indelible mark on the world of classic couture. You should have developed your own style by the time you're 40. Don't follow fashion slavishly, know the look that suits you and stick to it. By all means, keep abreast of fashion trends and update you own style accordingly. Establish a set beauty routine and adhere to it. Positive action is needed as your skin becomes drier. Facials, to deep cleanse the skin and keep it well moisturised, are essential now, plus facial exercises to stave off any hint of a double chin. don't like it, you'll never give it your all. Channel all your energies into a more creative pursuit instead. If you want to change destructive habits, you can. Most of them can be unlearned. You can learn to become calm, conquer shyness, give up smoking or control a fiery temper. Psychologists believe that some of us find change threatening. This is often why we don't change, not because we can't. By now, you should know who your friends are. Keep in regular contct with them and set aside a particular time to visit or write. A relationship will not survive unless you work at it. If you have any unfulfill ed ambition, it's high time you made it a reality. If you've always wanted to drive through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in your hair, that's not too difficult to achieve. Neither is climbing Croagh Patrick, learning a second language, or writing a short story. Be a doer, the architect of your own destiny. Stop

anything, even at 40! Have a nice birthday, by the w

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Little Sense
the scenario. You say "Put on your shoes" " W h y ? " asks the toddler. "Because your feet will get cold" " W h y ? " asks a tiny voice. If this session is leading somewhere, and yon are providing answers to ge nuine questions, you'll pro bably tolerate it. Sometimes, though the tiny terror is just asking questions to keep you on your toes and in such cases, it's sometimes perfectly all right to say I said String Of Obscenities "Because toddler so." of If your is one Children learn best by the 30% who refusetosleep example. A good rule of through the night, then thumb is to treat your tod you'll know all about ex dler as you would liketobe haustion. Many toddlers treated yourself. If yon wake up in the middle of swear loudly when the the night after settling saucepan boils over, then down to sleep earlier. In don't be surprised if he ot this situation, it is worth ters a string of obscenities asking yourself whether when be can't master his something is actually jigsaw puzzle. disturbing your child. Or As a child's speech does he need to gotothe develops beyond simple toilet? If the latter is the case, cut his drinks out . phase. before bedtime. How " y o n answer this Far more c o m m o n , stream of Bncitiwu will though is the toddler who vary. "Where's m y din refuses to gotosleep. You ner?" is easy enough to tuck him in, read some answer. Bat when a tiny some nursery rhymes and face looks up into yours then t r y to sneak oat the and wonders "Where do babies come from?" think your hand is on carefully before replying. handle, he's screaming Whenever possible,' you bine murder. should try to answer a In that situation, it's child's questions honestly establishing a bed and simply but remember worthroutine which will not time mat a child often cannot only prepare him for bed understand the whole bat also help h i m to truth. True toddlerhood does not begin until about 18 months. It reaches a peak at about two and gradual ly diminishes at about Vh. Generally speaking, tod dlers are stubborn, persis tent, and have little com mon sense. If, as a parent or relation, you meet fire with fire, men yon are heading for a rocky passage through toddlerhood. In dealing with a toddler, you'll needtodraw from a bottomless well of itience, kindness and rgiveoess.
training, a tmme far patience

F R O M ESTEE L A U D E R .

C

Tiny Voice
After the questionanswer phase comes the why" period. You

bedtime.

Real Battle Ground
Mealtimes can become a real battleground in some

families. T h e usual pro blem is that the toddler refuses to eat anything or "good" food. Eat with your toddler whenever possible. If your toddler refuses to eat, don't force him. Quick ly bat firmly, take his plate and allow him to leave the table Bat do not let him stuff himself with sweets after he has refused a meal. Temper tantrums are synonymous with toddlers. They often result from sheer frustration. Child ex perts advise parentstobe flexible when dealing with tantrums and to avoid fly ing into a rage. Yet, that's easier said than done. T r y to divert your child's attention if you feel a tantrum brewing. Cultivate a few stand by phrases like "What's that funny noise upstairs? Let's have a look." or " I s that granny going down the road? 'It doesn't matter that the noise or granny has vanished by the time you investigate. If the tantrum begins when your toddler doesn't get what be wants, yon mustn't give in, as the child will see this as a reward. While the toddler years may be very demanding, they have their own special magic. Watching a baby develop into an indepen dent child is a fascinating process. T r y not to bear grudges once a tantrum is over. The child will forget and s 'most yon. Make the first move and have a cod dle. The making op is the best p a r t
r

Recognise Weaknesses
Thirdly, put your emo tional life in order. If you are in a good relationship, learn to enjoy and ap preciate it. But if your relationship isn't up to scratch, try working at im proving it. By the time you've left your thirties behind, you should know and love yourself. Decide what you are good at. and what you like doing and promise yourself you'll do more of those. Recognise your weaknesses too and gracefully accept what you don't do well, hate do ing or won't do. If you can't stand figures, but like painting, don't force yourself to sit in an accounts job. If you

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