Galway Advertiser 1993/1993_08_19/GA_19081993_E1_016.pdf 

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FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL
Sending y o u r child to school for the first time can be t r a u m a t i c , often m o r e so for t h e p a r e n t t h a n the child. Parents worry, often un necessarily, about how their child will cope with the tran sition from home or pre school to school, whether he will be lonely, will be able to fit in, make friends and keep up with the other children in the classroom. By preparing in advance you can make the change a smooth one. Children who have attend ed some form of pre-school usually find it easier to set tle in at national school. They do not find the break with home so unsettling and regard this progression as a form of adventure. They have already learn ed to socialise with other children and have gained some independence. They are au fait with the structure and discipline of school and have come to terms with waving goodbye to mum or dad at the school gate. Most children start school at four and while the majori ty may be mature enough to do so, some are not yet ready to cope with the rigours of formal schooling. By sending him when he is ready, he will be able to settle down quickly and meet the d e m a n d s of classroom life. While he may not like this new situation at first, once he realises that it does not harm him, he will get used to it.

CALM A N D FIRM
Some children will un doubtedly act up and create a fuss about going to school. What do you do then? "Keep stressing the positive aspects of school."says Mr Fitzpatrick. "Say it is going to be nice and also that they are required to go to school. Life is not one long journey around a free sweet shop! Try to be calm and firm but don't make any threats." If the child baulks at the school gates and if no amount of sweet reasoning works, then pick him up bodily and carry him in, suggests the psychologist. He will usually volunteer to walk rather than face (he embarrassment of entering school in mother's arms. It is important to have set patterns and routines for children and this applies also to homework, says Mr Fitz patrick. Make lessons a part of your routine, he recom mends. " W h e n working with your child, don't be keen on getting everything right. The only way to learn is by mak ing mistakes. One of the problems with remedial children is that they won't do anything at all. They have been so hurt by mistakes they are afraid to make any. "Most children don't like to make mistakes but let them. Let them see you make mistakes and how you learn from these errors. Don't say you are stupid when you do something wrong. Just say " I did that but it didn't work because of a, b , or c. I'll do this in stead." He stresses that mistakes are not sins and are the essence of the learning pro cess. We learn by making and correcting mistakes and children should be en couraged to do this. The psychologist says many parents with literacy problems worry about their

child starting school as they fear they will not be able to help him. " T h e y should contact the Adult Literacy group and start to learn now. They will set a splendid example for their children and make them proud that their parent faced up to a problem."

COMPARISONS
There is a great deal of difference in the developmental abilities of children, and parents should refrain from making disparaging comparisons between their children and other people's, advises the W e s t e r n Health Board psychologist. The learning process set in motion at school should be followed up at home, he says. Getting your child in terested in books is one way of doing this. Buy books as treats and leave books lying around the house to whet his interest. Help and encourage your child to read road signs, cereal packets, cook ing instructions etc. "But don't make it into a constant examination, ask ing the child to read this and t h a t . " warns Mr Fitz patrick. " M a k e it fun by reading aloud yourself. It is important that fathers as well as mothers become im portant reading models for their children. This is especially so for boys." Parents should praise their child frequently but only when merited, he says. A constant stream of positive remarks are a form of pro miscuous praise and will on ly confuse the child. Instead, look for things to praise - if he is doing somthing right for instance, even if it's on ly the components of a task. If your child returns home from his first day at school and doesn't want to talk about the experience, don't pry. " T h e r e is no reason why a child should confide everything in you. If he wants to talk about it, he will."

COMMUNICATE

A

POSITIVE HEALTH

ATTITUDE BOARD

ABOUT PSYCHOLOGIST

SCHOOL

TO KEVIN

YOUR

CHILD, FITZPATRICK

ADVISES

WESTERN

POSITIVE ATTITUDE
By c o m m u n i c a t i n g a positive attitude about school, parents can help their child greatly, maintains Kevin Fitzpatrick, Principal P s y c h o l o g i s t with t h e Western Health Board's Community Care depart ment. Talk about school in en joyable terms, he advises. Talk about the joy of learn ing new skills, making friends, playing games. Stress that this is an exciting moment in his development as he is becoming a big boy now. School should not be us ed as a babysitting service or a place of discipline because the parents have failed to set

limits themselves. Schools are there to educate and that is their function, he stresses. Don't use school as a threat and warn your child he will be "sorted o u t " by teacher when he gets there, insists Mr Fitzpatrick. It should not be defined as a humiliating place where you'll be pushed around. Many parents, for whom school was not an enjoyable experience, unintentionally communicate this to their children and fill them with dread at the thought of entering the school gates. There are many good books available on starting school which you could read with your child, recom mends the psychologist. These will explain all about school and will help allay

any fears he may have. Playing pretend school at home can help prepare the child for the experience too.

INDEPENDENT
Children are expected to be somewhat independent in school so ensure that your child is able to go to the toilet on his own, that he can unbutton and button his trousers and so on, suggests Kevin Fitzpatrick. If he has toilet difficulties, be sure to mention this to the teacher in advance. That way she can remind him to go to the toilet and save him a lot of embarrassment. D o n ' t put awkward clothes on the child as he may not be able to manage them. Most children will be wearing new clothes on their

first day at school and may find the buttons difficult to open or close. If your child has a medical condition that requires atten tion, be sure to discuss this with his teacher. The Western Health Board psychologist recom mends that children should not be put under the protec tion of older brothers or sisters. Give them a chance to manage on their own, he advises. It is unfair to put that responsibility on an older child. Also, school helps children become in dependent and you can limit that by having big sister or brother acting as a substitute parent. Even when your child is adequately prepared, the first morning in school can present problems. Often it is an e m o t i o n a l time for

parents as they see "their baby" become a school goer for the first time. Children often do not know how to feel or behave and look to adults for signs. If they see you wailing outside the school gates, they will start crying too. It will help a lot if you get your child off to a good start so try to be as matter of fact as possible when leaving. Once you've got him/her in side the school, walk away, recommends Kevin Fitz patrick. If the child is cry ing, he will stop once you are out of sight. If you have talked to your child beforehand about this separation, that he may be momentarily upset, he will find it easier to cope on the day.